Hello all you little lovelys.
Oh how i have felt so out of reach from all you beautiful girls.
So just a quick hello and short but sweet updated post.

My grandaparents came back from holidays so there home again.
I miss the peace and quiet already. But good news i have started painting my house oh wow im so excited.
It needs so much work work work.
But thats a good thing it keeps me busy busy busy.
I think ive lost a little bit of weight again i think im about around the 32\33 mark.
Kinda scares me a little bit when i say it out loud.
And if the drs found out they would lock me away pump my brain with medication and my tiny frame with calories.
Oh how i hope that does not happen.
My life seems like its just falling into place ill be living in a house of my own.
Just little old me.
No one to push me around and bombard me with there rules finally.
So hopefully ill be in my new house within the next two weeks.

I have been trying to keep it together.
But lately i feel so weak.
I know its not a safe weight to be at.
But anything more and i feel like ripping the flesh off my body and starving myself for days.
So i fall into the routeen of eating little,then less,then none.
Then BINGE hate hate hate PURGE.
Eating none.
Eating none.
Eating little.
Eating okay.
Eating to much.
BINGE\PURGE
Eating none.

Anyone else have this problem ?
I need help.
I just want to eat little but enough stay balanced and healthy.

Love audrey.
Id much appreciate a reply.

Oh another binge.
My binge last night was descusting.
Fail.Fail.Fail
A slip of six pills to remove the damage done kept me up untill 1:00am.
My stomach felt like it was being ripped to shreads,chewed up and spat out.

I hate you.
Fasted to day.
I feel slightly better.
I am going shopping tomorrow to buy the new frankie magazine its my present to myself for fast completion.
Wow,my grandparents leave on friday.
I know whats going to happen im going to binge.
I just know it, so i even brought a few healthy foods to binge on so ill be binging in a safety net.
A planned binge is better then an unplanned one that way i can set boundaries.
So i got some vegan food,although i have been vegan for two years i never eat vegan processed food.
And suprisingly there all low calorie.
Some vegan spagehetti.
And some vegan Biscuits.
My weight today was 35kg.
Ehh.
I feel so fat and descusting.

Hello to all you little lovelys.
I hope you have been swell.
Me? Coping okay i guess,life with the grandparents has been slow.
I feel like i have nothing to do anymore im so out of routeen here.
I have binged three times.
Ehh i feel so gross when i put myself through that.
I also feel as if i have been so lazy sitting around on my butt all day because things go so slow around here.
i am 35kg.
Still feel as big as a house though.
But around here i am concidered a freakshow,people point me out from a crowd,whisper to one another as there eyes widen i can feel a little part of me die inside.
But i am fine strong and this is who i am i should be holding my head up high soaring across the room as i walk.
Fat.
I will no longer binge.
I hate doing it its not fun anymore.
I miss my old life i miss my mum and baby brother i am beging to hate it here.
I feel so dead inside and nothing can make me feel alive again.
Other then fasting.
Today i feel a little more warm and fuzzie.
Fast complete.
i still feel broken though.